


A Little Secret

by Ryu_Reikai_Akuma



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Touch, Bathing/Washing, Birthday Sex, Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Extremely Underage, Hand Jobs, Lap Sex, M/M, Minor Character Death, Molestation, Multiple Orgasms, No Dialogue, Outdoor Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Secret Relationship, Sex Education, Sexual Grooming, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Underage Kissing, Underage Masturbation, Underage Sex, Unreliable Narrator, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:56:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5213651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryu_Reikai_Akuma/pseuds/Ryu_Reikai_Akuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin had always loved and wanted Kili from the start. He shouldn’t have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This might be the most disturbing fic I’ve ever written so far. I don’t know if anyone notices but I almost always try to make Thorin a rather distant figure in my fics. Sometimes I send him or Kili away, other times I make him too busy to spend much time with his sister’s family. This is because I want to avoid making it look like Thorin has been preying on Kili since he’s a kid and/or like he’s been grooming Kili to be his future lover/consort. Most of the time I try to go for the romance angle and grooming and manipulation aren’t romantic, but I decided that it’s time to face that disturbing possibility, so here it is. It’s basically a worst case scenario fic and I absolutely do not condone this kind of behavior in real life. This fic was written with the help of a [useful link](https://scottishboomerang.wordpress.com/2012/07/03/fifty-shades-of-evil-the-grey-trilogy-as-the-glorification-of-relationship-abuse-and-grooming/) I found while reading a sporking of 50 Shades of Grey. Yes, this is a grooming fic with quite a substantial amount of pedophilia (age not specified but Kili was very underage in the beginning and still barely legal around the end), non-con (because Kili was underage), and emotional manipulation/abuse thrown in. No dialogue because, honestly, it’s disturbing enough as it is. 
> 
> If this bothers you, please do not proceed any further! If you decide to read this and find that I've missed some tags, please let me know!

Kili was so young when he first met Thorin-too young. He didn't understand much but he was fascinated by his uncle, the king-a real king!-of his people. He hid behind Dis's dress as he studied the tall dwarf with icy blue eyes which seemed to pierce right through Kili. Yet his smile and voice were warm when he addressed Kili, seemingly the furthest one could be from the feared warrior he was said to be. Kili grinned and greeted him politely, curious but careful in front of the relative stranger. Thorin found his way to calm him, however. He ruffled Kili’s hair with large strong hand and complimented his good manners, making Kili giggle. He would love to stay and study his uncle a little more if not for Dis’s order to leave them to discuss something. Just before Kili left to play with his brother he looked back and saw Thorin staring at him with the kind of intensity that delighted him. He ran off with Fili, proud to receive the approval of his king.

His parents told him and Fili that when they're older, they should be like Thorin. So, Kili observed him closely, learning and imitating everything the king did, even the most mundane activity such as reading. Thorin always smiled and invited him to come closer when he spotted Kili and Kili, though still a child, was observant enough to notice that he was the only one who received this treatment. Thorin always kept his distance from everyone else and he never seemed to care about others beyond their duties to him and their people. But not so with Kili. With Kili, Thorin smiled gently and asked him about his day. He never sent him away when Kili told him his childish explorations and discoveries, even though he must have better things to do than listening to a child’s tale. Not even Kili’s own parents would spare time to listen to his stories, yet he often found himself in the company of a dwarf king. He was special, Kili thought giddily. He grinned and held Thorin tightly when he was lifted to sit on the king's lap. When callused fingers tickled his sides, he laughed and squirmed on his seat, protesting once in a while when Thorin clutched him too tightly.

When people began calling him a shadow, Kili didn't understand what it meant. He was often left alone by his parents and so followed Fili or Thorin whenever he could. Despite the five years separating them, Kili loved spending time with Fili who was always willing to tell him things he learnt from his mentors and play silly games with him. They laughed under the cover of night oftentimes, dreaming of being princes as powerful, honorable, and respectable as their uncle. They were almost inseparable, but during the day Fili had lessons to attend to and unable to accompany Kili, so he went to see Thorin. Thorin was an adult-far more serious far and less willing to play foolish games with Kili. But he taught Kili everything he wanted to know, telling him stories of their lost kingdom and even showing him how to manipulate metals despite people's precaution that Kili was far too young to be in a forge. Fire and pain didn't scare Kili, though, or so he claimed as he tried not to recoil from the red hot sparks and searing heat. He frowned in concentration as Thorin fixed his grip on a hammer and put a hand on his lower abdomen to keep him steady. He listened carefully to the instruction Thorin whispered to his ear and almost didn’t notice the little kisses dropped to his head and neck when no one's looking.

Some people were intimidated by Thorin, but not Kili. Thorin was almost always kind and gentle to him, except when Kili made serious errors and even then he made sure to comfort Kili once Kili apologized. Thorin spoiled him, barely ever refusing him anything, unlike his parents and other adults around him. He came to Thorin whenever his demands weren't met or no one was available to give him attention. Dis said it would do him harm in the future but Kili couldn’t see how. After all, Thorin taught him things Fili hadn’t known about at his age and kept Kili away from trouble, inviting him to play in his study or showing him works at his forge. Surely, that couldn’t be harmful in any way. So, Kili didn’t heed Dis’s warning, continuing to spending time with Thorin. Besides, Kili liked seeing him smile and knowing that only he saw this side of Thorin, only he had this privilege, only he was loved so much by his king.

The first time he wondered if Dis was correct and he had been spoiled was when he found himself running through a rainstorm to Thorin’s house after being denied a trip with Fili and their father to the forest the next day. He paused midway, trying to decide whether to return home or continue to run, but he had gone this far and he still seethed with annoyance. He ran through the pouring rain, trying not to jump whenever thunders boomed. Thorin didn't seem pleased at all when he found Kili at his doorstep but still he quickly pulled Kili inside. Despite everything, Kili grinned when he wasn’t scolded, further proving that Thorin was better and nicer than his parents. He shivered when Thorin peeled his wet clothes off him, and wrapped his limbs around his uncle as he was carried to the bathroom for a hot bath. The tub was large enough for two adult dwarfs and Kili had to sat straight to keep his head above the water. Next time, he would ask to play with the many faucets of the tub, but for now he was merely enjoying the warmth.

The faint sound of rain from outside and the warm water surrounding him made him drowsy. He barely paid attention when Thorin took off his clothes and climbed into the bathtub with him. Kili sighed in contentment when Thorin sat behind him, his bigger body providing a comfortable cushion for Kili, his hands around his torso preventing him from drowning. He closed his eyes and let Thorin bathe him, rubbing his skin to clean him and make him warm. Sleepiness quickly overtook him and his body grew limp in Thorin’s embrace. Kili squirmed when something dug onto his back but his sleepy protest was hushed by Thorin who then hummed a soft tune, lulling him. Kili yawned widely and leaned back against Thorin’s broad chest, letting him continue to bathe him. He fell asleep a short moment later and when he woke up, he was wrapped in blanket and Thorin's arms. His skin felt strangely tacky but the bed was warm and soft, so he burrowed his head into Thorin's chest and fell back asleep. The next day, after hearing Kili’s complaint, Thorin invited him to a short trip to a city near Ered Luin. Though it wasn’t the hunting practice he knew Fili would have with Vilir, Kili still thanked Thorin profusely for it. He ignored it when Dis shook her head in displeasure when he showed her beautiful beads Thorin bought for him in the city. He only cared that Thorin laughed happily when he clumsily attempted to braid his hair, ending up with messier hair than before.

Kili was too young when he became aware of the importance of appearance. He hadn’t understood it before, the way some people looked at him with raised eyebrows or a smirk. He had thought it had to do with how he behaved, since Dis repeatedly told him how careless he was. He hadn’t paid attention until he heard the word ‘ugly’ being directed to him. Hidden behind a wall, he listened to a group of Dis’s friends talking about his strangely bare face, his soft facial features, and his long thin limbs. They laughed quietly behind their fans and whispered how fortunate it was that he was born and raised in the royal house of Durin as he would otherwise be mistaken for an elf.

Kili ran, shaking as tears poured down his face. Now he understood why adults laughed at the sight of him and why some children refused to play with him. Now he saw that some of the smiles he received weren’t friendly, but mocking. He wondered if that was why his parents treated him differently from Fili and why Fili sometimes refused to let him play with his friends. He thought of the many little instances of rejection which he had overlooked and was overwhelmed with loneliness and frustration. Had he been a joke all this time? Had the attention and kindness he received been fake or given out of pity? Did anyone sincerely care for him?

He ran and ran until his short legs ached and his thin chest heaved for breath. He didn’t know where he was going until his feet took him to Thorin’s doorstep. He hesitated but a tiny sliver of hope encouraged him to enter the large house. Thorin held him tightly when Kili found him in his study. He ran a soothing hand over Kili’s back but didn’t tell him to stop crying as Kili feared he would. Instead, he carried him to his room where they would have privacy and Kili could cry as much as he wished. The kind gesture comforted Kili and he clung to Thorin’s increasingly damp shirt, seeking more of his affection. It took a long while before he could explain what he had heard and seen. When Thorin scowled angrily and demanded the ladies’ names, Kili couldn’t help but chuckled through his tears, glad to know that at least one dwarf still liked him. He refused to give him their names as they were right. Kili looked nothing like other dwarfs and more like the hated elves. He deserved the mockery. He deserved the rejection. They were only voicing what others undoubtedly thought of.

This thinking displeased Thorin. He made Kili sat on his lap as they faced a tall mirror. Handsome, he called Kili even when his face was wet with tears and snot. Perfect, he insisted when Kili rejected his compliment. Loveable, he claimed when Kili mentioned how others had pushed him away. He gently peppered kisses on Kili’s face, neck, and shoulders, and stroked his wiry limbs, telling him that he would grow taller and stronger than any other dwarf one day. He held Kili tightly when he tried to wriggle free and said over and over again that he, the king of dwarfs, saw nothing wrong with Kili’s looks at all and if others thought differently then they were blind.

Eventually, fight was drained out of Kili’s body and he let himself be held bonelessly, listening to Thorin’s kind words. Thorin’s confident assurance sent calmness into him and he stopped crying as the pain receded into a dull throb in his chest. Tired and disconcerted, he didn’t notice Thorin’s kisses up his neck and jawline and then cheek until he felt soft lips upon his. He was momentarily shocked as he had never been kissed there, not even by his parents and Fili, but Thorin’s hand was warm and carefully light on his abdomen and he let it happen. When Thorin pulled away a few seconds later, he smiled and told Kili that he loved him no matter what, that he had loved him from the start and he always would. Warmth spread from his chest, at the words, at the knowledge that he wasn’t entirely unlovable. Kili snuggled close to Thorin, letting his words of love washed over him as he drifted to restful sleep.

Once he knew what people truly thought of him, Kili spent less time with others. He knew he couldn’t completely avoid them, but he tried to keep some distance from them. As much as he tried to forget, every smirk aimed toward him still stung. He only played with Fili who, on second thought, wouldn’t ever try to hurt Kili. When Fili was absent, Kili was always found in Thorin’s company. Though Kili much preferred spending time learning how to manipulate metal in the forge, oftentimes Thorin had to do boring political work. Kili brought his books and toys with him then and tried not to trouble or distract Thorin when he was working in his study, not wanting to give any reason for Thorin to start disliking him. It’s not always easy because stillness and silence made Kili restless, but the effort was well worth it when Thorin finished his work and carried him to his enormous bedroom, closed the door and windows and focused his attention to Kili.

Thorin didn’t play like Fili did with Kili. He didn’t chase Kili around the house or built castles out of furniture with him. He preferred storytelling and sometimes singing, passing down to Kili his memories of the home and kingdom they had lost. He always looked so sad then, so lonely and Kili couldn’t help but hugged him tightly though his arms were too short to wrap around Thorin. Kili loved stories, but he loved Thorin’s smiles a lot more so he told funny stories to lift Thorin’s spirit. He grinned in relief and pride when Thorin finally chuckled and tickled him until he squirmed and cried out for mercy. This seemed to amuse Thorin because then he always kissed Kili and though his beard felt rough on Kili’s face, he didn’t mind overmuch as he could feel Thorin’s smile against his lips.

Every day, without fail Thorin told Kili how good-looking he was. He stroked Kili’s slim body, telling him that though he indeed thinner than most dwarfs his age, he was still very handsome. Kili never really believed him-after all Thorin was just one dwarf against the many who laughed at him and he was clearly biased-but Thorin insisted. One day, after yet another argument on how Kili didn’t believe him to be truthful, he coaxed Kili to remove his shirt to assure him that his look was perfectly nice. Kili hesitated, not wanting Thorin to see how much slimmer he was under the layers of clothes he wore. They might have bathed together before but this was different. At that time, they were focused on making Kili warm and clean, but this time his physical flaws would be scrutinized. To assure him, Thorin removed his tunic and shirt as well, but the disparity between their bodies only made Kili felt worse. Laughing in amusement, Thorin pulled him close and kissed him, then taught him the differences between children and adults' bodies. Time changed the body as well as the mind, he told Kili before he admitted that he wasn’t physically remarkable as a child or a juvenile, being leaner and taller than his peers himself. Intrigued and hopeful, Kili studied the body before him. Thorin was surprisingly patient, letting Kili explored his well-developed muscles and telling him what the trainings required to get them and the adventure behind every scar he had. Mesmerized by the possibility of being an admired warrior, Kili made him promise to train him when he's older. When Thorin agreed, Kili leaned forward to seal the promise with a kiss. They spent the rest of the day wrestling playfully, kissing, and recounting Thorin’s old adventures. Kili decided that he liked using Thorin’s body as a map of history and his future better than books.

This grew into a habit. Although initially hesitant to show his body, Kili couldn’t deny the flush of pride when Thorin complimented him, caressing his skin and telling him how strong and handsome he would grow up to be. No one had ever said that to him, not even his parents. Oh, they loved him, but Kili supposed even they couldn’t overlook how un-dwarf-like he looked. So, Thorin’s praises, sometimes accompanied by kisses, were delightful to him. He squirmed and preened under his attention and explored Thorin’s body in turn, hoping one day he would have Thorin’s perfect physique, hoping one day he would be at least good enough as a dwarf.

Kili enjoyed learning the body of an adult dwarf. It allowed him to dream of what might become in the future-hopefully a dwarf with a more acceptable looks. He spent hours learning and memorizing the planes of Thorin’s body and he would be content to continue to do so if not for one thing. Kili found it curious that Thorin always refused to be completely naked in front of him. Dwarfs were more comfortable with each other than other races were, regularly bathing together in rivers and wrestling around with little to nothing covering their bodies. It was painful to be refused when he asked to bathe together with Thorin or when his hands skirted above Thorin’s breeches. The thought that there was something that Thorin kept from him, particularly something which was so common with other dwarfs was a slap to his confidence. Thorin said so many times that he loved Kili, but could it be that it’s not entirely true? Thorin was always honest to him but could it be that he was merely being nice when he said he loved him?

Plagued with fear of losing the affection of the dwarf he admired, Kili demanded to see Thorin’s body in full. Thorin wasn’t very interested, however, claiming that there wasn’t much to see though it was clear to Kili that it wasn’t true. This was a familiar argument, but Kili refused to give up this time. He wanted-no, needed to know that Thorin truly loved him. So, remembering how Thorin had convinced him to show his body before, Kili removed his trousers to encourage Thorin to do the same. Thorin eventually followed suit, although not without sighing and shaking his head in resignation. Kili smiled widely, eagerly taking in the new expanse of skin revealed to him, and blinked.

Kili wasn’t stupid and he had seen older dwarfs naked before, so he knew that of course his privates were smaller than Thorin’s. However, Thorin’s penis was different from anyone’s Kili had ever seen. For one, it was much bigger and looked slightly flushed as if swollen, reminding Kili of the unfortunate incident a few summers past when he was stung by a bee. Then, there’s the rigidity, looking almost solid with thick veins protruding along the length. It swung slightly when Thorin shifted but remained curved upward instead of flopping limply to the side. Kili frowned as he studied the appendage closely, wondering if it hurt because it _looked_ hurt.

As if reading his mind, Thorin laughed and explained that it happened sometimes to adults, especially when they’re near those they loved. Kili nodded, not quite paying attention. He’s glad to hear that Thorin loved him but the organ looked so strange and he wasn’t entirely sure it was a compliment to cause such reaction on someone. Smiling patiently, Thorin invited him to examine his body closer. Tentatively, Kili held the hardness in his small hand. He studied it closely and glanced down at his own small penis, noting with no small amount of confusion and trepidation that they looked nothing alike. Curious, Kili caressed the soft skin and tested the rigidity by squeezing lightly, making Thorin sigh heavily. Kili looked up in alarm, worried that he had hurt him, but Thorin shook his head and told him to do as he wished and that he would tell him if he hurt him.

Though still worried, Kili’s curiosity finally won. He carefully traced the veins with his fingertips and stroked the blunt tip with his thumb. He jerked away when the organ twitched in his hand. Thorin laughed at him as he stared at the thick organ in fear. Kili flushed in shame at his display of fear. Determined to not be thought of as a coward by Thorin, he gripped the hard flesh firmly. He twisted his hand this way and that and discovered by accident that Thorin liked it when he moved his hand up and down the length. He groaned loud and low, a sound Kili had never heard before but knew instinctively meant that he had done something right, so he repeated it over and over, slowly but firmly. He frowned when the organ seemed to grow redder and harder in his hand but didn’t say anything and didn’t react when it repeatedly twitched under his touch. After a while, clear fluid rose to the tip, nearly making Kili recoil in disgust. However, Thorin assured him that it wasn’t pee and that it was a natural bodily liquid that showed that Kili had done a good job at making Thorin feel good. Pleased by this information, Kili kept stroking the hardness until more and more fluid spilled from the tiny slit at the tip. He stared, wide-eyed, as Thorin sighed and shifted restlessly, his eyes unfocused as he watched Kili and his pale skin turned pink. When Thorin pulled him close to hold him, he was almost disappointed, wanting to see more of that less-controlled side of Thorin.

Thorin taught him to say the adult word 'cock' and held him tight as Kili giggled at the naughtiness of it. This time when they kissed, he slithered his tongue into Kili’s mouth to caress his gum, the roof of his mouth, and his tongue. He pulled Kili by the back of his head and pressed closer, slanting their mouths together until Kili could hardly breathe. It was weird and ticklish and made Kili felt as if his skin grew tight and his body hot. He pressed close to Thorin, somehow feeling that he would feel better the more he touched him. He whimpered as an unknown need grew inside him, pooling low in his belly, but before he understood what it was, Thorin pulled away. Breathlessly, he made Kili swear not to tell anyone about his promises and this lesson in particular as it should be taught when Kili was older. Kili nodded in a daze, stroking Thorin's cock, fascinated by how it jumped and throbbed under his touches.

If Kili could choose, he would rather study directly under Thorin, but that was not to be. All too soon in his opinion, he would start getting lessons from a number of teachers, the best ones carefully selected to provide the best education for him and Fili. Kili was both nervous and excited to take a first step in performing his duties to his people. He still had quite a way to go to adulthood, to helping Thorin, but he was glad that he would start preparing for it. Yet, there was fear of failing to meet expectations and the consequences-and there were plenty of those placed upon his shoulders. He might be a child but he knew that he would one day share the responsibility of protecting and prospering his people. They had suffered enough and the thought of failing and disappointing others frightened him.

The day before he had his first lesson, he spent an entire day with Thorin in his locked bedroom. Thorin was exceptionally patient that day, assuring him over and over again that mistakes were expected, that there’s no such thing as perfection-that’s why Thorin had a group of advisors to help him make decisions. There was more to the lessons than memorizing old tomes, however. Thorin told him that he should start learning how to appropriately interact with others. He warned that many wanted to use them because of their power and their blood, that kindness should be accepted graciously but not to be trusted immediately. Everything had to be examined closely as to not let anyone take advantage of them. There’s too much at stake, so they must try not to fail their people. Being the youngest Durin, some people might try to influence Kili to do their biddings, so he had to be careful. The warning didn’t ease Kili’s mind but he nodded in understanding and let Thorin kiss him tenderly, finding comfort in the warmth and security in the way their bodies pressed closely together.

Still, despite his worries and Thorin’s warnings, he found the lessons quite fascinating. Kili had thought he had known a lot about their history and culture in the countless hours he spent with Thorin, but it seemed that there were intricacies he had missed. He listened in rapt attention as his teachers taught him political and social situations that led to crucial decisions in the past. Trade policies did more than just brought goods but also introduced new cultures and caused changes in their people. He learned about bad decisions in the past and tried to memorize how they had come to pass so that he wouldn’t repeat them. Kili was admittedly poor in terms of memory, frustrating many of his teachers who even offered to give him extra lessons. He was careful to keep his distance from them, though, remembering Thorin’s warning on how people sought to use Durin’s power. His teachers were influential dwarf scholars who would no doubt benefit from earning the favor of a Durin’s Folk. Kili was polite to them but avoided spending too much time with them, not wanting give them unnecessary power over him. He knew he did the right thing when Thorin welcomed him with a tight hug, a wet kiss, and a loving whisper of how proud he was of Kili when Kili rushed to see him after his lessons.

Despite having teachers, Thorin still mentored Kili, although now less about politics, economy, and other formal subjects. Now his lessons were personal. He taught Kili to treat himself with both discipline and kindness, criticality and affection. He schooled him on ways to carry himself before others, an important skill as he would dedicate his life to his people. Although sometimes tired from his lessons, Kili never wanted to miss spending time with Thorin. It was a privilege. No dwarf his age in Ered Luin had received private lessons from the king, not even Fili who was the heir and five years older than Kili. It was sometimes difficult not to brag about what he knew, but Kili had made a promise to Thorin and told no one, not even Fili, that he made an exception for him. Kili was only too eager to keep the secret lessons, glad to have this for himself when he seemed to be mostly overlooked or underestimated by others.

One lesson he received very early was that on a dwarf body. Thorin had warned that some people would think it’s inappropriate to teach Kili at his current age. So, when one day Fili came to him with a red face and told him the lesson their parents just told him, the lesson Kili had learnt from Thorin a few years prior, Kili had to employ his entire acting skill not to show his smugness. Thorin laughed when told about this and petted Kili's back as Kili stroked his cock lazily, making him moan and his hips buck. Unlike Fili who had balked at the thought of what a male and a female must do to procreate, Kili was accustomed to the idea. He had to admit that in the beginning he found it weird and uncanny, but Thorin had assured him repeatedly that, if done properly, it was a pleasurable experience and, in fact, some people did it solely for pleasure rather than to produce a baby. After a while (and after much asking from Kili), he even showed why him so many sought the pleasure.

However, knowing the mechanism and its various functions didn’t mean that Kili fully understood. Thorin never let him finish him and always pushed Kili's hands away when he was close. Copious amount of pre-spend would flow from the tip of his cock but he never came on Kili’s hand. Kili didn’t understand why and thought it was very unfair as afterward it would be his turn to be on the receiving end of heavenly touches. Thorin's hand was overwhelmingly large around Kili's small cock but Thorin was careful and brought him only pleasure. Kili panted as Thorin peppered kisses on his flushed chest and spread thighs, his beard scratching soft skin and his breaths teasing hypersensitive body. He clutched the bed sheet tightly as pleasure coiled on his lower belly and he thrust greedily into Thorin's tight fist while Thorin murmured how good he was being and how much doing this made Thorin happy. With a flick of a clever tongue on his nipple, he cried out when pleasure crashed over him, his small cock jerking in Thorin’s hand although no seed came out. He thrust into the unmoving tunnel of Thorin’s hand as he rode out the ecstasy tremblingly until just the feel of Thorin’s rough palm made him whine in protest. Thorin kissed his soft cock before gathering him in his strong arms, pacifying Kili’s request to return the favor and see what a dwarf’s seed looked like by assuring him that he was satisfied just to bring him bliss. He loved him, Thorin reminded him again and again, and love expects nothing in return. Kili fell asleep with a smile on his face as Thorin teased him about the secret they kept from Ered Luin.

Despite his knowledge, Kili was still embarrassed when he first woke up to a dirty sheet. He knew it would happen, but his face still burned when the stains were discovered. Though he had been curious for a very long time, he couldn’t quite bring himself to inspect his night emission. He endured Fili's teasing and his parents lecture on the biology of adult dwarfs and how babies were made, before running to see Thorin, the only one he knew wouldn't laugh at him. With his face hidden in the crook of Thorin’s shoulder and his arms wound tightly around Thorin’s body, he retold the shame of having his parents find that his body was no longer that of a child, but an adult. He groaned and buried his face deeper in Thorin’s shoulder when he was told that Dis likely had expected this and found it natural. It was one thing to tease and be teased by his brother regarding this, but he’d very much rather keep his parents out of this part of his life!

Kili whined when Thorin pushed him to his back. When Thorin brought him to hardness with his hand, he squirmed and looked away, the shame still very fresh in his mind. Thorin didn’t seem to notice this, however. He didn't stroke Kili languidly as usual, instead he seemed to be in a rush, his eyes fixed on the small cock he gripped in his hand. Then, in an unexpected move that nearly made Kili jump off the bed, he pressed a kiss on the weeping tip. Kili gasped loudly as his blood rushed to his cock, filling it to full hardness. The teasing warmth of his breath and the wetness of his lips and tongue as he randomly placed kisses on the cock in his hand soon helped Kili forget his shame. Once appalling, now the thought of having Thorin’s warm wet mouth surrounding his hardness was painfully arousing. He thrashed on the bed, helplessly pushing his erection into the tunnel Thorin’s hand made and the devilish torture that was his soft lips. He could feel his sacs tightened and he breathed a litany of pleas to Thorin who had mercy on him and licked a broad stripe on the side of his cock and tipped him over the edge. Kili groaned as he came, pearly seed spilling over Thorin's hand and though he had come before with Thorin’s help, this time it felt different, the physical pleasure more intense that he shook and panted for a long time. Thorin milked him carefully until he was soft and squirming with oversensitivity, unable to decide whether he wanted more or for Thorin to stop. He sighed in relief when the wonderful large hand left his cock.

Kili was just catching his breath when Thorin captured his lips in a kiss. He automatically opened his mouth, allowing Thorin to draw indecipherable lines on the roof of his mouth, stealing his breath away. This was far from their first kiss, but something about this was headier, more urgent. It seemed that Thorin wanted something from him-Thorin wanted _him_ , and Kili had no strength to fight him. He relaxed his body, surrendering to his king and uncle, letting him take that what he wanted. Suddenly, Thorin broke the kiss with a long moan. Kili blinked when he realized that Thorin had stroked himself to completion. His irritation at not being allowed to do that disappeared, however, when Thorin caressed his lips with fingers covered in not only his own seed but also Kili’s. It didn’t look very appealing but Kili opened his mouth dutifully and flickered his tongue out for a taste. He grimaced at the bitter taste, making Thorin laugh breathlessly and kiss him again to remove the remnants of the taste from his mouth. He only allowed Thorin to embrace him after he cleaned his hand with the sheet. When Thorin told him he would get used to the strange flavor, he frowned in disbelief and disgust. But, he couldn’t help but beamed happily when Thorin told him what a perfect adult he had grown to be. That’s right. He was no longer a child now. He was an adult.

No longer a child though he was, it’s difficult to let go of certain habits. Though repeatedly warned not to be too accustomed to Thorin’s dotting treatment, it was still him that Kili went to first after his lessons, rather than his home. It became a well-known fact that Thorin favored one nephew over the other. It was unfair to Fili, but Kili was unwilling to relinquish the pleasure and affection Thorin unfailingly give him. No one listened to him, loved him, and pleasured him the way Thorin did. It was immature and selfish, but Kili didn’t want to lose the closeness they had, so he kept coming to Thorin despite disapproval and spent hours basking under his attentive hands and affectionate words, forgetting the cruel world around him.

This came to a crashing halt in the most unexpected way that Kili hadn’t even thought of. While perusing thick history books, Kili’s teacher mentioned in distaste the inbreeding that had plagued so many royal families in the past, including Durin’s Folks. He praised the decisions of past kings to end the harmful and disgusting practice and made it unlawful, as it was unnatural for two close relatives to engage in romantic and sexual relations. Only animals mate with their kin, he said, lips curling in disgust, pushing the thick books away as if the mere mention of the act repulsed him.

The shocking revelation sent a sharp pain to Kili’s heart. Ill feeling grew within him as he thought back on everything he had done with his uncle. He had thought that the only thing wrong with his closeness with Thorin was how Thorin spoiled him, but no. His touches were wrong. His kisses were wrong. His loving words were wrong. Those were abnormal, illegal, sickening. Yet for years they had shared passion behind closed doors, for years Thorin had brought him pleasure, for years Thorin failed to mention that what they’re doing was revolting and wrong in the public’s eyes. Kili felt sick. He had trusted Thorin with all his heart.

Kili confronted Thorin right after the lesson. He asked about the misleading silence and forbidden touches, the sick path he had been allowed to take when Thorin knew better, when Kili expected Thorin to not harm him. Kili’s eyes burnt with unshed tears as he demanded explanation, but he refused to let them fall. He didn’t want to appear weak-he knew Thorin well enough that any sign of it would displease him and Kili wouldn’t get his answers. So he clenched his jaws and fisted his hands, trying to appear strong though inside betrayal tore him.

Kili expected anger or denial, but he never thought that when Thorin looked at him, he would see a sad smile. It was out of place in the usually strong dwarf, so wrong. Thorin was supposed to be stoic and in control or gentle but firm, but not dejected, not this. Some of Kili’s ire melted at the sight. He never wanted to hurt Thorin.

Thorin admitted to trying to rein his forbidden attraction in the beginning, wanting to wait until Kili was older, but Kili kept coming to him and his resolve was only so strong. He had intended to never go further than kisses and admitted that he had wrongly indulged some of his desires to touch, but he hadn’t wanted things to go too far. He reminded Kili to his past insistence to see Thorin’s body and learn the physique of an adult. He had been reluctant then because he hadn’t wanted to lose his control, but Kili begged so persistently and Thorin loved him too much to deny him anything. Thorin swallowed thickly and apologized for not stopping Kili when he knew better, for not having proper restraint before Kili’s eagerness. His deep voice cracked, his head bowed in humility, and his shoulders slumped desolately when he told Kili that he would completely understand if Kili didn’t want to see him again, that he was prepared for any consequence if Kili chose to reveal his crime because although he had said many lies, he was truthful about his love. He was even prepared to abandon his rights to be a king, his life-long dream, if that’s what it took to repent for his mistakes. At this, Kili couldn’t keep his anger any longer. When Thorin held Kili tightly when Kili hugged him, Kili learnt that even the strongest dwarfs had vulnerable hearts.

Eventually Kili decided not to tell anyone about what he and Thorin had done. He hadn’t known better and Thorin had simply been too blinded by love. There’s no need for either of them to face the public’s disapproval and anger. Still, he couldn’t quite make himself spend time with Thorin as much as before. He went home after his lessons and avoided meeting Thorin unless he truly had to. He knew it was the right thing to do but it was difficult to feel Thorin’s eyes on him, carefully impassive as if they were strangers; to keep their distance when not so long ago their bodies were often interlocked in passion. So, when Dwalin offered to take him and Fili to train to be soldiers in another dwarf city, Kili immediately agreed. Not only did it allow him to keep his distance from Thorin and give him the opportunity to focus on the art of war as he had resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t as talented as Fili cognitively, but it also gave him the first glimpse of the world. Though still in the same region as his home, both Kili and Fili were in awe at the nature. The couldn’t stop staring and pointing at forests, mountains, hills, rivers, creeks, and fields outside of the border of Ered Luin, places they had only heard about and saw in maps. The trip was an adventure as well as a lesson and they relished the opportunity to race their ponies without their parents’ constant warnings. It was almost a pity when they arrived at their destination, but even the city was exciting. Kili and Fili studied the places and people with interest, noting the subtle differences which gave the city an identity separate from their home. Dwalin let them indulged their curiosity for a couple of days before he started training them in the ways of traveling warriors. Each evening they return to their accommodation tired but satisfied to know that they were preparing to serve their people as they were meant to do from the start.

Kili loved his training and the city and its people, but a longing soon grew inside him. Fili was an excellent companion but he was at an age where he started notice lasses. Many times, Kili saw him with a handful of admirers who only spared him a glance and it cut him, the rejection. Thorin’s constant reminders of his love and regular proof of his desire had made Kili forget how unattractive and unwanted he was. People respected him because of his blood, but they looked at him with disapproval. He knew they laughed at him and talked about him when they thought he wasn’t looking. He knew they thought of him as nothing more than a joke of a Durin. Kili tried to ignore it but he could only overlook so much when Dwalin easily found a partner in local taverns and Fili had his throng of admirers while he was left alone with acquaintances who preferred to not spend time with him unless they really had to. Memories of Thorin’s affection didn’t help diminish his longing for his own uncle. He tried so hard to resist, remembering the law, the taboo, the rejection. At night, Kili touched himself in loneliness, trying to replicate everything Thorin had taught him. But it's different. It didn't feel as good as Thorin's hands on him and his bed was cold and he felt so lonely although he was rarely alone. Kili sobbed quietly every time he came. He missed Thorin so much.

Months went by very slowly. When he finally returned to Ered Luin, Kili hastened to Thorin’s house as fast as he could. In the privacy of his study, Thorin stood up slowly to greet Kili, looking apprehensive, and it hurt to see the great distance that had grown between them. Tears stinging his eyes, Kili rushed toward him and kissed him passionately. He whimpered quietly into Thorin’s mouth as tension melted from his body and Thorin held him close, enveloping him in familiar warmth and scent that Kili hadn’t realized he missed until he sensed them. He could he even think of letting this go?

There was much to discuss but the intimacy after so long without was impossible to deny. Kili’s cock filled almost instantly, throbbing and aching for release. He wrapped his arms around Thorin's shoulder and buried his fingers in his wild hair as he was kissed back with equal ardor. Thorin ground his pelvis against him, showing him his desire, thick and solid through the material of his breeches. and Kili moaned, rocking back to alleviate some pain of longing. He broke the kiss to gasp when Thorin slid a leg between his thighs, giving him something to rut against. Thorin wasn’t keen on separating just yet, however, and pulled him back into the kiss, their teeth clacking but neither of them care. Kili moaned into the kiss as he ground against the strong thigh and Thorin’s straining hardness pressed against his hips insistently. His breeches grew damp and he could feel his release approaching, but he didn’t want this to end yet so he pushed Thorin away, whimpering slightly of the loss of something to rub against, and reached out for Thorin’s breeches. Their fingers were clumsy as they undid their breeches, freeing their aching cocks. Kili exhaled shakily as he touched Thorin’s hardness, beaded with pearly early spending at the tip, thinking of all the reasons why he should stop but not wanting to. Love, passion, acceptance, Thorin gave them all to him for nothing. Perhaps this was wrong in the eyes of law, but Kili couldn’t see why something so wonderful should be forbidden.

Instead of stroking Thorin to a release as he usually did, Kili sank to his knees. Catching his intent immediately, Thorin moaned hoarsely and told him that he didn’t wish to force Kili to do anything he wasn’t willing to do. However, while the act was indeed daunting, Kili was determined to restore their closeness. Slowly, Kili licked the slick head, tasting the familiar taste of pre-spend, and covered the familiar appendage in wet kisses, drawing a moan from above him, before taking Thorin into his mouth. The weight was unfamiliar on his tongue and the stretch of his jaw was mildly uncomfortable, but still he moaned because this was Thorin, because they finally reunited. He braced himself on Thorin's strong thigh as the king groaned above him and gently gripped his hair to pull him away slightly before pushing him back onto his cock.

Kili closed his eyes, inhaling Thorin's intoxicating musk, as his mouth was used. He had never done this before, but he recalled bits of conversations he had overheard and started sucking gently while making sure to keep his teeth away from the sensitive organ. The wet sounds this created were filthy but Kili was undeterred, especially when the taste of seed became stronger in his mouth, telling him that he did well. He took Thorin as deep as he could without gagging and then pulling away until only half of the cock was in his mouth, before doing it all over again. Thorin moaned praises to him, encouraging him to suck harder and flick his tongue on the soft skin whenever he could and gasping sharply when Kili obeyed. As Thorin began rocking his hips harder, Kili stroked his strong thighs, allowing him to take his pleasure in his mouth. Thorin moved a little too fast, making it difficult for him to breathe freely, his jaw was tired, and drool slipped out of his stretched lips, but he didn't protest, not when Thorin groaned his name in such a desiring way. Through hooded eyes, Kili looked at the face he had missed and his heart swelled when he saw the affectionate smile directed to him. He hummed in contentment and smiled when Thorin cursed and tightened his grip on his hair. He was wanted. He was loved. He could feel it in the way Thorin said his name as he fucked his mouth with long thrusts that nearly choked Kili but showed how he loathed leaving his wet mouth. Kili moaned greedily and pressed closer, wanting more of Thorin.

When Thorin ordered him to touch himself, he obeyed, stripping his aching cock in time with Thorin’s thrusts. Though he had touched himself many times when he was away, this was different. The fact that he had Thorin’s cock in his mouth, his strong taste on his tongue, his fingers in his hair, his scent enveloping him made every sensation stronger, the pleasure burnt brighter. He came first, spilling seed to the floor. His hands twitched and fell from his cock, unable to continue stroking as bliss overwhelmed him and his mouth continued to be fucked. His hips humped the air desperately as more pearly liquid dribbled out of him. Kili whimpered pitifully when the snaps of Thorin's hips became erratic, signifying his impending release and making it difficult for him to catch his breath, and he didn’t know whether he wanted this to end soon or to keep going. Thorin followed him a few seconds later, filling Kili's mouth with his seed, and though Kili had disliked the taste of it, now he swallowed the gift eagerly. Thorin pushed into Kili's mouth languorously, moaning how he had missed Kili so terribly, as Kili greedily sought more of his essence. Happily, Kili stayed on his knees and sucked on the tip until Thorin gently drew him up to a kiss. They spent the day together in Thorin's bed after that, talking about the time they had been apart, kissing, touching, and sucking each other until they couldn't get a stand. Kili fell into a deep sleep curled up against Thorin’s side, feeling safe and content in the familiar arms.

Dwalin planned to regularly take Kili and Fili away for trainings, but now the thought of leaving Ered Luin displeased Kili. He knew it was for his own good as well as his people’s. However, by each day away from Thorin he saw how cruel the world was and how Thorin was one of his few sources of genuine love. His methods had been wrong-he shouldn’t have lied to Kili-but his intention was right-he just wanted to make Kili happy and keep him safe. Still, it was no ground for an argument to stay by Thorin’s side and, with Thorin’s encouragement, he went with Dwalin and Fili for a few months every year. Away from the familiar comfort of home, Kili learnt to live among various people, survive in various situations, and understand better the expectations placed upon him. These were useful lessons but the loneliness was almost unbearable. Fili and Dwalin’s companionship could only ease his longing for so long and he had given up on searching for companionship elsewhere. Secretly he counted the days to his return to Ered Luin. Once he was home, he always immediately visited Thorin to enjoy the affection of the only one who truly loved him. He took his pleasure from Thorin and gave back the same, relishing the affectionate attention no one else even thought of showing him. He didn’t care what the law said. Love could not be wrong.

When Kili decided to choose archery as his primary skill, he grew even more isolated. Many disapproved, calling the weapon not fitting for a dwarf warrior, let alone a dwarf prince. He was made fun of relentlessly and pressured by everyone, including his parents, to change his mind. However, Thorin supported his decision, even scolding those who criticized Kili. Kili could barely hide his joy when one day Thorin visited him in the shooting range to watch him practice and then gave him a beautiful hunting bow in full sight of those who insulted him. He didn’t care that it was a clear sign of favoritism. Their king approved of his decision and so should everyone. True to that, people began to begrudgingly accept his decision, so as a sign of gratitude Kili invited Thorin for a hunt to show off the skill he had honed, the reason why he chose bow and arrows instead of swords and axes. He was delighted to know that he was more skilled than Thorin was, although he supposed it was to be expected as he spent more time hunting than Thorin did since he settled in Ered Luin. He laughed when Thorin scared animals with his heavy footsteps and frowned in frustration at his inaccurate aims.

The hunting trip ended rather prematurely, however, as, in retaliation to his teasing laughter, Thorin pulled him close to kiss him passionately, running his hands over Kili’s body and slipping them into his tunic to touch skin and twist nipples into peaks. Kili only just managed to spread Thorin's lovely coat on the ground as a bedding when he was pushed down to it. Their clothes were removed swiftly and soon Thorin was on top of Kili.

This was a familiar sight and feeling. Kili had seen Thorin’s naked body and felt it pressed so perfectly against his hundreds of times, but being outdoor where sunlight was upon them instead of dancing candlelight was different. Kili looked at Thorin anew and caressed his impressive muscles and comb his thick chest hair down to the thick coarse hair where his hard cock nestled. He felt intimidated suddenly, realizing that Thorin could also see him more clearly than before and thus notice the flaws that had earned him decades of mockery. He pulled his hand away and squirmed, trying to find a way to cover himself. Thorin would have none of it though, and bent down to capture Kili’s lips in a dominating kiss, pressing closer when Kili tried to break it and pinning his hands to the ground when he tried to push him away, until Kili finally surrendered himself, trusting Thorin to love him. He moaned as Thorin spread his legs wide, making him feel vulnerable and too exposed. His insecurity disappeared, however, as Thorin whispered throatily how he loved finally seeing Kili under proper light, how he wished he could see Kili like this more often. He arched his back when Thorin worshipped his body with kisses, stopping to gently sucked his nipples and leaving marks here and there, while his strong hands caressed him carefully as if he were breakable. Moaning pleadingly, he planted his feet to the ground as Thorin kissed the sensitive skin of his inner thighs, the sensation of his beard scratching his skin heightening the pleasure. He whimpered and bucked his hips when Thorin nuzzled his cock and left wet sucking kisses on the sensitive skin before pulling away, leaving him hard and dripping. When Thorin held up his fingers to his lips, Kili only hesitated for a moment before opening his mouth. He ran his tongue all over the digits as if they were Thorin’s cock, wishing it was Thorin’s cock, as after uncountable times of sucking him off, Kili began to crave the taste, feel, and scent surrounding him when Thorin fucked his mouth. Kili mewled in disappointment when Thorin pulled his fingers out, but the noise soon turned into a gasp as they teased his entrance, circling the puckered ring and lightly pushing the tip of a finger in.

Kili tensed up, never having done this and, honestly, never having thought of this. They kissed, touched, and sucked each other, but not this. Kili glanced at the thick cock between Thorin’s legs and felt a frisson of fear ran down his spine. That couldn’t possibly fit inside him. Even his fingers lightly pressing against his hole felt impossibly large. He looked into Thorin’s glazed eyes in panic, trying to find a way to ask him to stop. However, before he could utter a word, Thorin slithered down, kissed the center of his heaving abdomen, and whispered how perfect Kili was. Kili writhed under the attention, torn between trusting Thorin to not hurt him and rejecting him because this act seemed impossible and painful. The thought was cut short when Thorin suddenly covered him with his mouth. Kili cried out, not expecting the wet heat surrounding him. Weaving his fingers through Thorin’s wavy hair, he rocked into the warm cavern, moaning as Thorin sucked him and hummed around him, sending vibrations up his spine. He closed his eyes, moaning loudly, as agile tongue caressed the soft skin and thick veins of his cock, teasing his early seed to leak out of him to be lapped up enthusiastically. His body began to tense in preparation of release-his cock hardening even further and his sacs tightening-and the thought of a king hungrily sucking him to swallow his seed further pushed him to the edge. When a finger penetrated him, Kili was barely aware of it. Perhaps half of the digit had disappeared inside his body before it met resistance and Kili stiffened, finally registering the odd sensation. He gasped when Thorin patiently pulled his finger out then pushed it back in over and over until Kili’s muscles gave in, admitting the entire digit in.

It didn't hurt exactly, but it was strange. The finger, as he had thought, felt big and soreness began to grow inside him as places never before touched was forced to stretch around it. Kili wriggled his bottom, unaccustomed to having something inside him. His body instinctively tried to push the finger out, but instead it made the unyielding presence in his body even more prominent. His breath hitched when Thorin rotated his finger, every little movement sending sparks of confusing sensations across his body. Again, his muscles contracted around the digit, yet it only seemed to draw it even deeper, drawing a shocked gasp from him. Kili frowned when Thorin released his cock from his mouth and shifted up to hover above him again. Thorin chuckled in amusement, lightly commenting on his confusion, making Kili scowl in annoyance-he hated being laughed at but he couldn’t gather enough breath to protest with a digit moving inside him persistently.

Ignoring this, Thorin kissed his face and neck tenderly, his whisker and breaths tickling Kili’s sensitive skin. At first Kili turned his face away to avoid the searching lips, still irritated by the mockery, but Thorin was persistent. Kiss after kiss was laid on him, accompanied with minuscule nudges of the finger buried inside him. Kili bit his lip but tiny sounds still escaped him as a yearning was ignited within him, starting as a small spark which then grew into a flame licking across his sprawled body, and he unwittingly bucked his hip, craving more and deeper. When Thorin whispered to his ear to tell him to relax as he pumped Kili’s wet cock slowly, Kili couldn’t help but moan. He tightened around Thorin's finger when he began to slowly fuck him with it. The motion wasn’t precisely unpleasant and brought to his attention inner parts of him he hadn’t known before. Kili frowned, trying to focus and better understand the overwhelming sensation to control his reaction, but Thorin suddenly brushed something inside him which sent bright spark of pleasure through his body, making him cry out loudly. Before he knew what was happening, he was pushing back for more, his cock leaking heavily and creating a puddle on his abdomen. He whimpered, tossing his head from one side to the other as Thorin moved his finger moved faster, stroking that place inside him that made his cock throb and leak pre-spend. Kili’s breath stuttered as his release approached him.

Suddenly another finger teased Kili’s entrance. He had only a moment to process it before it pushed in beside the other digit, causing a sharp pain that broke through the blanket of pleasure. Kili tried to close his legs but Thorin wouldn’t move from between them and kept pushing the finger while whispering that Kili should relax to make it easier until, finally, the two thick fingers were inside him. It was a tight fit and Kili moaned and sobbed in pleasure and pain. It’s too much, he felt too stretched as if he would split, and the pleasure he had felt before started to fade. He started begging for Thorin to stop but Thorin kissed his neck and chest tenderly and whispered throatily about how strong he was being, how hot he was inside, how good he felt, and how happy Thorin was to finally do this, and he sounded very needy and barely in control, so Kili quieted his protest and bit his lips as Thorin fucked him with his fingers. He pulled Thorin down so he could wrap his arms around him and buried his face in his neck. He panted as his muscles gradually stopped fighting the intrusion and the pain slowly disappeared, giving way to pleasure again, especially when Thorin found again that place inside him that made his hips jerk and his cock twitch and leak heavily. Thorin kissed the side of his face as he tilted his hips, trying to meet Thorin's fingers, hungry for the stretch and the burn, wanting them deeper, wanting everything more. Thorin obeyed happily, moving his fingers faster and spreading them, sending wildfire through Kili’s bloodstream. He groaned and kissed Kili’s ear and neck, telling him how beautiful and wanton he looked, how difficult it was for him to stop himself from taking him, how proud he was for making him feel this way.

Try as he might to hold back a little longer, Kili finally came with a short shout, spurting thick seed on their bellies. His voice must've scared some animals because he vaguely heard cracking of twigs on the ground and rustling leaves. Thorin tensed up above him and scanned their surroundings cautiously but Kili's whines brought back his attention. He smiled and kissed Kili deeply, stealing his breath away. When Kili noticed he hadn't removed his fingers, Thorin had already moved them again, pulling another orgasm from him, then another, and another, only pausing to spit to his hand to lubricate his fingers, until Kili shook and begged for Thorin to stop and Thorin painted his bottom with his seed.

Kili couldn't sit comfortably for a couple of days afterward but he felt that the experience was worth it. It helped that Thorin took good care of his discomfort, gently applying ointment on Kili's sore hole when Kili came to visit, much to Kili’s embarrassment. The fresh reminder of how uncomfortable it had been at the start nearly made Kili refuse to let it happen again, but Thorin kissed him tenderly as if Kili had given him the world, and whispered how happy he was that Kili let him enter him with his fingers and how he could barely think of anything other than how Kili looked sprawled on his coat with his hole clenching tightly around the fingers inside him. His words were so genuine, his smile so adoring, and it wasn’t as if Kili hadn’t enjoyed himself-after all, he had come so many times while Thorin had only come once. So, Kili allowed Thorin to do it again, this time with proper oil.

Thorin came between their tightly pressed bodies this time, his fingers buried so deeply inside Kili's tight channel that he cried, overwhelmed by the pleasure. Thorin later quietly admitted that no one had ever made him feel this way, made him loose control so thoroughly. Pride bloomed inside Kili’s chest at the thought of being so special, of being so loved. It’s a wonder that he had once doubted Thorin’s intention when it was so obvious how much he loved Kili, laws against incest be damned. He decided then that his place was to be near Thorin, to protect and serve him and make him happy.

So, Kili wasn't happy at all when Vilir ordered him to go travelling with Dwalin. Leaving Ered Luin a few months a year was enough, he didn't want to spend years on the road as Dwalin often did. He also thought it’s not fair that Fili was allowed to stay at home. Yes, Fili had more tasks to learn at home because he was Thorin’s heir, but Kili would also like to learn to help. However, Vilir was adamant. He glared and gritted out refusal after refusal but Vilir vehemently rejected them. Asking for Thorin's help made things worse. His discussion with Vilir ended up with Vilir slamming the door of Thorin's study shut angrily and grabbed Kili's arm to drag him back to their house, vowing to take Kili away from Thorin and Ered Luin forever. Angrily, Kili locked himself in his room. It was a childish thing to do, but he was determined to make Vilir know his objection to the unfair one-sided decision.

Vilir died the next day. A robber had ambushed him in the forest, people said, killing him and taking his precious possessions away, but no one knew who the murderer was and where he had gone to. Fili swore to avenge their father and Dis cried endlessly, but Kili could only think of the argument he had with Vilir. On their final day together, Kili had been childish and unkind, nothing like the mature dwarf Vilir expected him to be. He should’ve been more reasonable, should’ve tried to convince Vilir with sound arguments, instead he had scowled and locked himself away like a spoiled child. Kili tried to rein his sorrow, distracting himself and searching solitude but regret tortured his conscience. He should’ve parted with Vilir on better terms.

The night after Vilir’s funeral, Kili couldn’t bear it anymore. He came to Thorin's house when everyone else was asleep, barely mindful of the time, that Thorin might be sleeping as well. He knocked on the door, shivering but not from cold, and when Thorin opened the door, he pushed him to the bedroom. Kili knew it was childish, un-dwarf-like, un-warrior-like, but he couldn’t help but bury his face in Thorin’s chest. He tried to bit his lip but hot tears still fell from his eyes. Every argument he had had with Vilir rushed to his mind. He dug his fingers into Thorin’s bare chest tired, frustrated, and, above all else, guilty.

Tormented by what he never would be able to change, he leaned up and kissed Thorin almost violently. He sobbed when Thorin returned the kiss tenderly while stroking his back comfortingly, for once not trying to dominate him. This was why he wanted to stay, to be with Thorin, to enjoy this affection, and to help him and make him happy in turn, but it had also caused grief in Vilir’s last day. Desperate for a reprieve from the pain, he begged Thorin to make him forget.

Thorin obliged without argument. The sting of his fingers in Kili was welcomed and he rocked onto it, trying to make them move faster and go deeper to blur the dark thoughts in his mind. But it's not enough and Kili sobbed in frustration as he remembered again the disappointment he had become. When Thorin arranged them to face each other on their sides, he could neither fight nor assist. He burrowed his head into the crook between Thorin’s neck and shoulder when he shifted closer and pulled his leg over his hip. His breath caught, however, when he felt the tip of Thorin's cock nudging his stretched hole. Panicked, he looked up to tell Thorin to stop, but found Thorin gazing at him patiently. He hushed him and told him he'd make him forget his troubles and then the next thing Kili knew, the fat head of Thorin's cock breached him. He gasped sharply and clawed Thorin's back as he was stretched wider than he was used to. His first instinct was to move away but Thorin held him vast, assuring him that it would feel better shortly, but it didn't, the slow burn of Thorin sliding into him was nothing like Kili had ever felt before. He felt too full, too stretched. He felt he would burst if Thorin moved even the slightest. But Thorin kept pushing into him until he was fully enveloped by Kili's trembling muscles, until his hips were pressed against Kili's bottom.

Kili panted, his entire body shaking in shock, unable to push Thorin away. He closed his eyes as Thorin started to move in slow, luxurious thrusts, touching him in places his fingers had never touched before. Thorin kept kissing his face and whispering to him that he would make him feel good and forget. Kili was skeptical but Thorin reminded him that he never lied, so he held on, waiting until the pain passed. Many whimpers and kisses later, his body finally relaxed and Thorin could rock into him more easily, sliding against that place inside him that always made him cry out in ecstasy. When it did, Kili could finally appreciate the pleasure Thorin shared with him. He wasn't too stretched, he was perfectly filled. He moaned, grinding against Thorin's hips, at loathe to be left even slightly empty. Thorin obliged him, holding him close with one hand on his back and another squeezing his ass with every thrust.

They moved in perfect synchrony, giving and taking at once, while trading kisses hungrily. Between their damp bodies, Kili was harder than he had ever been. He grunted and pushed back to Thorin’s cock and threw his head back when Thorin massaged every sensitive spot inside him that he had previously only touched with his fingers, and then more. His breaths came in pants and his body tightened, telling him that he wouldn’t last much longer. Kili wrapped his hand around his cock and stroked it in tandem with Thorin's slow movements. He came hard, gasping, when Thorin traced his stretched entrance. Unwittingly, he tightened around Thorin, making him groan into his collarbone. Before the last drop of Kili's seed fell, Thorin rammed himself into Kili a few times, punching air out of his lungs. The contrast with his usual gentle treatment prolonged Kili’s orgasm. He wanted more of this, he thought, he wanted Thorin to lose himself in him, to forget his inhibitions and just take him. Thorin grunted animalistically as he suddenly stilled, hips pressed tightly against Kili and Kili moaned softly, knowing he was coating his insides with his seed.

They kissed slowly as Thorin languorously rocked his hips into Kili until Kili whimpered and moaned quietly, blown away by the very recent loss of his virginity. It wasn’t so bad, he decided as Thorin gazed at him with such deep unending affection, touched him as if he was a valuable gem, and whispered how happy he was to finally share this pleasure with Kili. Kili was too tired, content, and satiated to remember his grief when Thorin withdrew and pulled him close. He fell asleep, smiling, in Thorin's arm with Thorin’s seed leaking out of his debauched hole and Thorin's promise that no one could keep them apart in his ear.

When Thorin offered to provide Kili the guidance he needed for his future, Dis and Fili thanked him for they had little time for Kili now that they must share the responsibility once borne by Vilir. They didn't suspect anything whenever Kili stayed in Thorin's house for a few days at a time-they had no reason to suspect anything. The rest of the world only saw an uncle doting on his fatherless nephew. No one knew how they touched each other the moment they had privacy and how Thorin called Kili perfect, wonderful, smart, strong, and every adjective not usually used to describe him. They didn't need to know how Thorin lavished him with affection and passion and called him the most important dwarf in the king's long life. They should never know anything unless Kili wanted to lose the special bond he had with Thorin, the only one he knew loved him unconditionally.

When Kili came of age, Thorin woke him with kisses and made him sit on his lap, speared on his thick cock. Not yet fully awake, Kili sleepily rocked on Thorin’s lap and barely grunted when the king lazily tugged his cock. They had a ceremony today and a night of feast ahead of them, but for now they enjoyed the moment of privacy. Kili tilted his head, moaning softly when Thorin kissed his neck softly. He’s always so careful, so gentle with him, and it simultaneously embarrassed and pleased Kili. Kili watched Thorin’s large hands run up and down his body, comb his chest hair and easily pulled him back when Thorin desired a deeper penetration. Envy and insecurity reared their ugly heads at the reminder of how flat his stomach was, how wiry his limbs were, and how sparse his beard was compared to other dwarfs. Thorin loved him despite his looks, but he still disliked his appearance and even found it shameful. Kili whined and pushed back to the hardness slowly thrusting into him, demanding a distraction from the dark direction his mind was taking.

Out of nowhere, Thorin said that Fili's engagement would be announced soon. Kili frowned, not wanting to think of his brother when his uncle’s cock was stretching his hole. However, Thorin’s fingers dug into his hips, stilling him, and he knew there as more to the news. Hesitantly, Thorin admitted that Kili's own announcement was likely still a long way to go. Kili's chest tightened when Thorin confessed that many eligible dwarf ladies had refused to consider him for their husband and Thorin had begun to fear they might never find any willing match.

Rejection was something which had haunted Kili's life from early age, of course, but it still hurt when he realized not even his royal blood could give him a married life. He glanced at a nearby mirror and saw a strange-looking dwarf staring back. Pressed against him, Thorin was pure muscles and dripping with virility while his hands, which easily manipulated hammers and swords and axes, restlessly caressed Kili’s ugly body. Kili looked away, remembering every laughter and smirk he had received for his looks, shortcomings, and choices. He had tried so hard to be acceptable but he hadn’t done enough. It would never be enough. Sensing his distress, Thorin soothingly caressed his chest and asked him if he was all right. Tears sprang to Kili’s eyes at the kindness. Thorin didn’t have to settle for him, didn’t have to support and help him, didn’t have to love him, yet he did, yet he stayed despite being able to have his pick among every dwarf in Middle Earth.

Kili swallowed his pain and ground onto Thorin, claiming loudly with wavering voice that he didn't care and didn't need a wife as he planned to devote his life to Thorin. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Thorin held him tighter. As he thrust into Kili slowly, he berated the ladies who refused to see how kind and beautiful Kili was, how strong he could be, how happy he could make one feel. He promised him he would always be there to take care of Kili, just as he always had since Kili was but a child. He vowed he would never leave Kili's side and he would make him happy as no one bothered to do. Kili sobbed as he came, followed seconds later by Thorin with a wet kiss on his neck. He milked Thorin's release with his body and clutched Thorin's arms tightly, letting the safety in those arms overcame his sadness and insecurity until they were nothing but a small dull pain. Thorin had never lied to him and always made him happy. This wouldn't be the exception. He sighed quietly when Thorin’s fingers ghosted over every inch of his skin, whispering how perfect he was and what a pity no one would see this side of him. He turned his head to capture Thorin's lips and smiled into the kiss, contentment flowing into him the longer Thorin held him. It didn't matter that his future wouldn't be as it's supposed to be, that he wouldn’t have any wife or children, that he wouldn’t be able to continue his family line, that he would always be looked down upon. He had Thorin and his life would be better than anyone could ever have or even imagine. He melted into Thorin's tight embrace and gentle kiss, surrendering his body and life to him, giving him his trust completely.

**Author's Note:**

> Perish the thought that there is romance in this fic! There isn't a drop of it here! And, yes, Thorin killed Vilir. And, no, you really shouldn't trust Kili's perception/the narration. For more madness, visit me on [tumblr](http://demonessryu.tumblr.com/).


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